When You Should Say No to Sex

Guys are expected to be horndogs, ready for sex at the drop of a bra. But that's a lot of pressure, says Men's Health Sex Professor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D.

"Sometimes men end up accepting sex because their partner wants it, but they're not that into it," she says. "Then they have difficulty with erections, and it sets them up to feel like they have ED."

So the next time her booty call feels more like a duty call, ask: Do I really want this now? And if the answer is no, be honest: Tell her you're too tired or stressed, and promise that the sex will be hotter if you two wait a night.

Follow four more smart, sexy tips from Herbenick:

Wet Her Sexual Appetite

"Men think of lube in terms of ‘need.' Instead, think ‘want.' Studies show people who use lube enjoy more sexual pleasure. Plus, women can take 15 minutes to warm up, and their vaginal walls can be dry even when aroused. I like water-based lubes like Pure Naked, or organic gels from Good Clean Love."

Related: Pick the Perfect Lube for Your Penis

Listen Her Panties Off

"Love and emotional intimacy are big predictors of orgasm. You can't make yourself fall in love, but you can make experiences more intimate. At dinner, my partner and I always ask each other about our day, and it's not just idle chitchat. It's good to vent and to know that someone loves you enough to listen."

Do Sex and Reps Together

"Need a reason to work out together? I've developed a training program that can increase arousal for two-thirds of women; it's in my book The Coregasm Workout. This type of pleasure doesn't come easily. It's only when women's bodies are fatigued--after intense cardio or sets of knee raises."

(For the smartest sex and relationship advice--and 2,476 genius tips to help you take total control of your health--pick up The Better Man Project, the brand-new book from the Editor in Chief of Men's Health.)

Compliment Her Lips

"Genital self-image is a hot research area. My studies show that women who are comfortable with their vulvas and vaginas have more orgasms and more-positive feelings toward sex. Next time you explore south of her belly button, tell her just how beautiful she is, how great she tastes, and how sexy she feels."